company outside Atlanta has been working with me for nearly a year to refinance the mortgage on my house. When we finally finish this process (and we will some day have to finish because it either will or will not come about), I think I'll recommend him for a well-deserved sainthood. IF that doesn't work, and I don't know his religious affiliation, I will try hard to find him some business that will pay him as he deserves.
The problem is me and the house and the debt. No gory, scathing details here--not your burden or your business--but the value of the property in today's market is at the root of the problem. I think I've got a perspective on this; it's a house, not a person, not something of intrinsic value other than having been my residence (and yes, a home) for 19 years. The background of the problem is the divorce that occurred about 10 years ago and my need to refinance then to get money out to pay my dear ex-husband his share of the equity. Little did I know that I should've just moved out and sold it then. But, as I tried to simplify things and avoid other major choices, it seemed so much easier to stay in the house and get the blasted money.
We've seen the rankings of life events and their stress level; even good events (marriage, new job, birth of a child) create stress; divorce, moving, financial events create lots of stress and leave us stronger if we survive, I suppose. I survived, and I'm okay now. Guess I hoped my life would indeed be easier when I became 50-16, a pending event.
Since I can't say what lies ahead (the script not being revealed) I assume I can either stay or go, keep on or quit. Going and quitting have finality attached and I ain't ready to go there. So I'll traverse this landscape and figure out as I go what I should do. Life will go on, as far as I know.
If I didn't have this house, I'd live somewhere; I'd find a place for me and the girls, my true-blue sweetheart roomies. I need a bedroom; they need a yard. Between those things a kitchen, bath and living room would fill out the space nicely. It will be nice to be done with the process, the near-drama and know the result. Until I do, guess I'll go along as I can and try to remember that this kind of struggle is one that comes to people with some comfort and privilege, even if the levels aren't really high.
I may, however, when it's all said and done scream or laugh or cry or shout or rejoice. Something in proportion to the time committed and the benefit realized, perhaps. Just saying is all.
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