a lot of things. Not that it's real news, but who wants to be reminded. First born explains to me via phone that I was unkind to her during discussion with her friend when they dropped by. OK, so my words were not carefully chosen, intent was not to upset anyone. So much for casual conversation. Someone please tell me what I should do and then I'll do it.
On the other hand, I could be telling folks when they've upset me, but I usually retreat. And later it doesn't matter very much. Who's right? Who's wrong? Maybe it depends on how important the whole thing was. Sometimes the issue isn't the issue; it's about the attitude.
One thing I'm fairly sure of: I'm too blasted old to change everything I do. I speak glibly, with little forethought but lots of sarcasm; I've apologized for things said in haste when it's apparent to me I may have offended. People often laugh at remarks I make; I've been told I'm funny and quick. Guess it's amusing if you weren't the point of the humor.
I could try to keep my mouth shut and only reply to questions. That doesn't sound much like me, but maybe it's worth a try. OR I could just warn people (like a disclaimer to avoid liability) that comments could be offensive and that it would be unintentional if someone takes offense.
And there's an interesting phrase, "takes offense;" maybe I didn't "give offense" but they "took offense". Not to sound Carlinesque, but the English language and how we use it can be quite peculiar. It's the communication model of sender and receiver; it looks simple, but the message can be garbled. I think it's because meaning resides with the listener (receiver), no matter what the speaker (sender) intended.
Reminds me of one of my favorite things, that I refer to as the Communication Conundrum: I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I don't believe you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Sums up a lot of conversations I've had. No wonder we don't understand each other.
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