which is the case with stuff in a catalog that arrived at the house, full of charming things to use, wear, watch, and generally have hanging around.
Some items that may find their way into gift packages for people I like and my shopping is done, like the shirts:
--Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering What the Hell Happened (for my older big bro)
--I'm Not Short I'm Fun Size (a perfect statement for my vertically-challenged and crazy friend)
--Mom Likes Me Best (one for each child)
--Let Me Drop Everything and Work on Your Problem (for anyone in public or customer servicle)
and the best one for those of us who grow weary explaining that we can't do everything and we might not want to do anything
--I Live at the Corner of Kiss My Ass Avenue and No Friggin Way (AMEN!)
Then there are the ones that fit quite a few folk:
--If You Met My Family You Would Understand
--I Have CDO. It's Like OCD but all the letters are in the Order Like They Should Be (you'd be surprised how many people could use this0
--I'm So Far Behind I Think I'm First
OK, enough with the funny shirts. Problem is I can't buy a shirt for everyone I'm reminded of when I peruse catalogs; if I did, I could certainly use this one myself
--I Started Out with Nothing and I Still Have Most of It Left,
and, while worrying about the checkbook balance this one would fit
--I'll Have a Cafe-Mocha Vodka-Valium Latte to go, please.
Maybe I'll stir up that drink and toss the catalogs.
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